You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
