that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
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I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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