we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
another moral hangover. fuck.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
