In the future we'll all be gay
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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