I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sarcasm needs its own font
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
