Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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