There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
wow bdsm is so cute
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