The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize