I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
