I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
