Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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