he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
