Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
should my penis look like a turkey
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
