Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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