my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was like eating out sand paper
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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