I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
