too bad you live with your parents still
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Semen is not good for contacts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
