I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
