Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I smell stomach acid.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
