We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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