girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
