Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize