4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
