Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
