It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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