we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
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The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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