Where is the hickey?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize