dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize