I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
