am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You ate ashes out of my bong
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize