margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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