we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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