Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you made out with another girl for some wings
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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