i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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