you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
