I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
