i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't think brook has ever known best
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
