my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
