Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
