My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
