I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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