I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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