Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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