they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
did you just send me my own nude
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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