; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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