What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...