there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
