But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
