I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you're hired as official boob wrangler
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
