The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
