Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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