and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
