I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
