so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
