Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We left the knife in your bed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
