Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
