he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
