How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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