I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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