turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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