I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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