I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
