Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize